Wednesday, June 15, 2011
This is a relatively new discovery for me. For a time, I was under the misguided impression that all of this searching in life was more or less a phase. A temporary state. And when I figured things out, that meant I'd 'made it.'
In high school, I was looking for college.
In college, I was looking for an interest... a path to a career.
After college I was looking for direction.
As a young professional, I was looking for a career.... etc...
All of this was me looking for the life that I wanted for myself.
After we looked for and found each other, Monte and I began looking together towards the horizon for the life we wanted together.
Along the way I realized that all of this looking was never a destination. It was real life... being filled with experiences and defining who we are together and individually. I'd found that elusive thing that meant I was a grown up... Imagine my surprise when I realized that it wasn't an ending point. It was a beginning.
Although our gaze today is focused in the here and now, Monte and I are still looking... but differently. We're looking for a new way of life. Looking for different ways to work towards happiness. Looking for meaningful ways to teach our children.
We're looking in the here and now, but also forward to what comes next. Trying to anticipate some things and preparing ourselves for the things that we're not intentionally looking for, but will be discovered along the way nonetheless.
Monte and I are conscious of the fact that if we're not careful, life will quietly pass us by, if we're too busy looking for what comes next. So as uncomfortable as it may be (for me) to not know what's happening 5 steps ahead of this one... I've decided that the trick is to look for the big things... those things that are dearest to me... those things that really matter most... (the things that aren't THINGS at all) and everything else will fall into place.
And that leaves plenty of time to enjoy not only the looking, but also time to revel in the finding.
Posted by Megan Boyum at 9:28 PM