I wouldn't necessarily consider Gavin quiet, he's quite the boisterous individual. As one can plainly see, by this illustration of how we find Gavin "relaxing" or doing his homework. This is not an action shot... it's just how we often find him. I suppose he's just unconventional... Unconventional is good, in my book.
Although he's not quiet, in terms of volume, Gavin is quiet in terms of sharing the 'stuff' that happens in his life. Maybe it's his age, maybe it's his personality... maybe he only seems quiet because his siblings are over-sharers. Whatever the case, I see that starting to rub off on Benett too.
While B isn't typically found in a contorted position on the floor, he does seem to spend time reflecting internally a bit more, enjoying that time in his own head. I can see the gears moving with him, and almost feel when he has a question to ask. He's great about asking out-of-the-ordinary questions; questions that are creating an eclectic foundation and shaping his view of the world. I could do without some of the outside sources that color things differently than I'd like... but I suppose as a parent, dealing with those less than ideal things, and our reaction to them, also serves a purpose.
Gavin too asks questions, but as he gets older, that is changing too. His questions seem more designed to test than in a quest for information. I know there is information being gathered too... but he doesn't take answers at face value.
And whether he likes it or not, Gavin finding himself in the role of teacher for Benett and Ellie. He's teaching them through is happiness and his frustrations. Brother and sister are always close at hand... when he wants them to be, and when he doesn't. As a result, he's teaching them when I want him to, and when I don't. They learn from his reactions and interactions, the same way they do with Monte and me. I like that together we shape each other, good and otherwise, it's all very elastic. I like that, but I have my moments too.
Gavin has always been like one of the adults. I think he still considers himself that way, when compared to his siblings. So much so that from time-to-time he'll spell conversations that he doesn't want Benett to understand. And much like when Monte and I used to do that to him, Benett has caught on. He hasn't started telling Gavin what he's spelling... yet... but it's coming. For now, he just spells my name, when he wants to get my attention. "M - O - M, will you help me over here." Or my personal favorite, "M - O - M, I don't want to have ____________ (insert any kind of food here) for dinner. I. Don't. Like. That." (Followed by grumpy-face.)
I guess the trick with tweens, and everyone really, is to find a way to connect. That's not easy, but as it turns out, some of the most rewarding things in life are down-right perplexing.