Wednesday, May 20, 2015


I wouldn't necessarily consider Gavin quiet, he's quite the boisterous individual. As one can plainly see, by this illustration of how we find Gavin "relaxing" or doing his homework. This is not an action shot... it's just how we often find him. I suppose he's just unconventional... Unconventional is good, in my book.

Although he's not quiet, in terms of volume, Gavin is quiet in terms of sharing the 'stuff' that happens in his life. Maybe it's his age, maybe it's his personality... maybe he only seems quiet because his siblings are over-sharers. Whatever the case, I see that starting to rub off on Benett too.

While B isn't typically found in a contorted position on the floor, he does seem to spend time reflecting internally a bit more, enjoying that time in his own head. I can see the gears moving with him, and almost feel when he has a question to ask. He's great about asking out-of-the-ordinary questions; questions that are creating an eclectic foundation and shaping his view of the world. I could do without some of the outside sources that color things differently than I'd like... but I suppose as a parent, dealing with those less than ideal things, and our reaction to them, also serves a purpose.

Gavin too asks questions, but as he gets older, that is changing too. His questions seem more designed to test than in a quest for information. I know there is information being gathered too... but he doesn't take answers at face value. 

And whether he likes it or not, Gavin finding himself in the role of teacher for Benett and Ellie. He's teaching them through is happiness and his frustrations. Brother and sister are always close at hand... when he wants them to be, and when he doesn't. As a result, he's teaching them when I want him to, and when I don't. They learn from his reactions and interactions, the same way they do with Monte and me. I like that together we shape each other, good and otherwise, it's all very elastic. I like that, but I have my moments too.

Gavin has always been like one of the adults. I think he still considers himself that way, when compared to his siblings. So much so that from time-to-time he'll spell conversations that he doesn't want Benett to understand. And much like when Monte and I used to do that to him, Benett has caught on. He hasn't started telling Gavin what he's spelling... yet... but it's coming. For now, he just spells my name, when he wants to get my attention. "M - O - M, will you help me over here." Or my personal favorite, "M - O - M, I don't want to have ____________ (insert any kind of food here) for dinner. I. Don't. Like. That." (Followed by grumpy-face.)

I guess the trick with tweens, and everyone really, is to find a way to connect. That's not easy, but as it turns out, some of the most rewarding things in life are down-right perplexing.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015


The boys are going through a bit of an evolution. More and more, I see them partnering in their endeavors, mostly to antagonize their sister. Part of me is very happy to see them connecting in a way that feels a bit more equal, while another part of me is feeling very sorry for the little girl who can't seem to keep up anymore.

It's not because she's slower; Ellie can't seem to keep up anymore, because of their power in numbers. They can be a force to reckon with. They've even managed to share some major milestones. Gavin lost his very last baby tooth, on the same day that Benett lost his very first. It was exciting for both of them... and each of them individually.

Like many things that Gavin does, he lost his tooth completely on his own. Letting us know, almost as if it were an after thought. "Oh yeah, I lost my tooth. I guess I can get my braces now..."

While Benett's experience was a very typical, theatrically-dramatic event involving an aggressive game of catch, with a baseball. You know, the kind of game where one uses one's chin to stop the ball. Accounts differ, but the end result was a lovely note and a tiny pearl for the Tooth Fairy.

At first, I worried that we wouldn't be able to make each of their moments special... maybe that's how twins feel about sharing a birthday... but in the end, I guess it was special, because they got to do it together. And it was proof to me that there is no need to "make" anything special, because when it is, it just is.