Friday, April 15, 2011


This week has been a whirlwind. It's impossible that the announcement to sell HJ Photo was Monday and today is only Friday of the same week. It seems like we've lived through a months worth of information and excitement and uncertainty and fear in a weeks time.

Its just occurred to me that I'm completely spent. I feel as though right now I have nothing left to give. As a result, all of these emotions are bubbling up to the surface. I am not able to keep them carefully tucked safely away to feel later. They're just right out there... that loss of control is a rough thing for me.

Tonight I was rocking Ellie and couldn't keep the tears at bay. They just wouldn't stop. I had all of these unrelated things going through my head... I understand that it's related to all of the uncertainty in life right now... but sheesh... it's nothing to cry about.

I want to have things both ways. I want to explore opportunities, but stay here. I want to meet new people, but enjoy all of the friendships that I've grown to love and count on in Lewiston. I want things to stay the same, but change a little. I guess I want to have my cake and eat it too. That's not too much to ask, is it?

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