Monday, March 5, 2012


From a really young age, I had this understanding that my children wouldn't look like me. I'm not sure what prompted me to feel that way... it's just this thing that my heart knew.

For that reason, it never really seemed strange that Gavin was this blond-headed, blue-eyed boy. That's just the way he was supposed to be... looking very different than me. I have a similar feeling about Ellie... aside from her dark eyes; I struggle to see myself reflected in her face.

But not Benett. He is me... he's a living picture of my brother at that age, and my father too. My dear Grandmother, she sees it as well. Even though she has been fighting this battle with a merciless villain who hides her precious memories; she sees reflected in Benett's face, her own children as toddlers. She looks at him, and knows.

I love that connectedness.

But, regardless of who my little people look like, their hearts are what matter most to me. That those little hearts are filled with love and happiness. That the face reflected back at them in the mirror is one that has been showered with kisses... that they love themselves as much as I love musing over each of them... regardless of who they do or don't look like, each is an individual that I love more than I ever knew I could.

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