Puzzle

Each of the little people have very different personalities. It's interesting to see each one develop and grow as the individual grows.

Gavin is smart as a whip. The kind of smart that leads you to believe he's much older than his physical age. He's a free spirit, letting his creativity and imagination take him quickly from one thing to the next. He's quite easy to distract... He is so very sweet, has a tender heart and is thoughtful through and through.

Benett is predictably unpredictable. He's hilariously funny, absolute in his resolve, difficult to distract and has THE best facial expressions.

Miss Ellie is our independent little soul. She's got a mind of her own and is learning that she likes to tease. She scares me already. I'm not sure how much sleep I'm going to get in the next 16 years... I guess that's karma.

I'm not sure that our personalities have changed, but Monte and I are growing and changing right along with the little ones.

All five of us are quite different. We're like pieces of a puzzle. Each with a different shape, but collectively fitting together perfectly, to create the picture that is our family.

Dress

I'm addicted to Pinterest. I have managed to control my addiction and refrain from adding to my pin boards until the end of the day when all of my other tasks have been completed. It's like a little gold star that I give to myself.

Lately, I've been drawn to images on Pinterest of t-shirt refashions. As a matter of fact, I have several such images pinned on my 'Upcycle' board.

I decided that it was time for my obsession with t-shirt recycling be put into practice. This weekend I converted this old green tee into a play dress for Ellie. I winged it... but the result was an okay first attempt.

True to her stubborn self, Ellie really didn't want to be photographed wearing said dress. She was having plenty of fun running around in it, thank you very much... But she wouldn't stand still for longer than 3.7 seconds. And I'm a slow photographer. So, I have one smallish, blurry picture of her wearing the result... sigh...

I don't have this t-shirt upcycling bug out of my system yet... and I see a second dress in Ellie's future. This time, I'll allow for less of a seam allowance. And measure twice. And photograph Ellie wearing the result while she sleeps.

8th Inning

I don't know what it is with Gavin lately. I feel like a broken record. I sound like a broken record. Upon leaving my lips, each phrase is deflected. Each gentile reminder is ignored. So my phrases and reminders get louder. Less gentle. Still he manages to bat them all away, like he's practicing for the home run derby.

Until my pitches are too fast.

When we get to that point, nobody is happy. I try not to hear myself, attempting to play Gavin's game, in order to cope with the situation at hand. Still, I hear myself. I don't like the sound. But the volume pushes my words through the clutter. Then they're not ignored.

We're making headway with "okay." Now I'm hearing, "I can do that." And things like, "I understand." I love those words. They mean communication is happening.

I'm certain that part of our problem is that we're in a long inning. You know that part of the baseball game where things are just slow. Summer is starting to feel that way for him. We have some really fun things planned at the end of the month, but right now we're stuck in the 8th inning.

He misses baseball. Today Gavin decided to wear his uniform... high pants and all... Summer sports this year were great for Gavin. He really grew through those activities.

With those good experiences under our belt (you know, the belt that's holding up our too-high baseball pants) we're looking forward to the fall sports season. Gavin decided on flag football and soccer. We'll start practicing a new sport and that will surely help to close out the 8th inning in style.

Traumatized

I was traumatized today.

I was minding my own business. Cleaning the chicken enclosure. (Quite diligently, I must say.)

And then it happened. Out of no where, one of the birds jumped on my back.

EEK!

I was very proud of myself, because I don't think I screamed. However, I can say with great certainty, that I've never stood up so quickly. And I must have done a little dance too, because after standing up I figured the bird would slide right off. (I was wearing a slippery wind-breaker.) Not so. I learned tonight that those little buggers can hold onto things quite well with those creepy chicken feet.

It gave me the heebie-jeebies.

If we were keeping score, it would be 1-0 in favor of the birds. It was unnerving

But on a considerably less spine-tingling note, I was also able to snap this picture of Ellie tonight... looking at the camera AND smiling no less! I'm sure this is a first.

Gals

Our little gals have been flourishing in their new environment. It's amazing how quickly they've grown in a weeks time. Not only have they grown size wise, but they've really each settled in and developed an obvious pecking order.

They are quite entertaining to watch and everyone, including the dog, enjoy spending time near their enclosure. (Although the dog would like to spend more time IN the enclosure, as evidence by the digging he's doing around the fence.) It's especially fun to watch them chase crickets. They gobble them up quicker than quick. It's impressive, how fast they can be.

All three have grown quite tame and seem to enjoy our company as well. They are comfortable enough with me to let me stroke their feathers. And they seem to enjoy pecking at the polka-dots on my wellies.

I have only one concern about the gals... my concern is that I don't believe this one is a 'gal' at all.

Ago

So much can happen in a year.

At times I find myself jumping ahead to what is coming next. Navigating away from the present tense, looking towards the future. Wondering. Hoping. Musing.

It starts innocently enough. It's human nature to think about what is around the corner... to plan for what is coming next.

I know I'm guilty of looking beyond, more often than necessary... wondering "what if?" too often. And when I do pull my head out of the clouds I see that I'm rushing through some days, trudging through others.

I feel blessed that so many days are also filled with happiness and lovely memories. These things, I've tucked safely into a special corner of my heart. A place that is reserved for these people, who are so dear to me.

I feel blessed that some days can be marked by the lessons we've learned... teaching us important lessons about our lives. And balance dictates that other moments are comprised of unpleasant or painful experiences.

I'm not sure how these things started to roll around my head today, but I got to thinking about this whole idea of looking to the horizon. Looking beyond what is happening right in front of me. This concept of waiting for that 'perfect' future state, when a project can be started or a journey can be embarked upon... and I realized that each day IS perfect. Each day is perfectly the way it was made to be. The happiness. The lessons. The pain or unpleasantness... It's all what we're supposed to do, in order to be who we are supposed to be... whether or not I'm examining what's on the horizon.

One year ago, this is the way my little people looked. Now, I look at their little faces and my heart aches. I see their smaller selves and I think of how much they've grown in this span of time, that seems now, to have flashed before me.

Right now, I feel like wasn't always paying enough attention. I feel like I may have been looking off to the horizon, under the guise of doing what's right and prudent, while my little people grew. They changed. They experienced happiness.... learned lessons... they may have had an unpleasant or painful moment... (Notice the stitches above.) All of those things that have contributed to who my children are a year later.

I was there. I lived in each moment with them. But I can't recall them now. I want to be able to flip through these cataloged memories and experiences and remember it all. Every second. Sadly I cannot.

Gavin has grown so much. He looks less like a child each day, and at times has more adult conversation with me than some of the 'grown-ups' I know.

Benett still as that mischievous twinkle, that may never subside. He has developed such a funny personality. He treats each day like a party, and he wants to be the life of it.

Miss Ellie isn't a baby any longer. She's a little girl. She's growing more and more independent each day. She's gone from this quiet and reserved baby to a jabbering, squealing toddler.

Part of me wishes that I could turn back the clock and enjoy just one more day with these one-year-ago kids. But I cannot. I won't dwell on that, because just like looking too far ahead, spending too much time looking back won't do either.

As I type, I'm growing anxious to finish these thoughts. To wrap them all together and put them to rest with the other lessons learned... then slowly and purposely, steal a few moments watching my little people sleep. To firmly root myself in the now. Soaking in each. Listening as they softly, slowly breathe in and out. Stroking a hand or a cheek. Watching them stir and settle deeper into their beds. The whole time, being entirely in the now.

Flavored Puddles

Today we had a nice break from the hot weather. A break from afternoons cooped up in the conditioned air. A break from popsicles. A break from cleaning up after popsicles.

Why does Ellie prefer the taste of flavored ice in its melted form... when dripping down her arm into a puddle at her feet?

I'm sure I'll miss these scenes in a few short months. For now, we'll enjoy all the flavored ice we can make an excuse to eat... and give the kids lots of baths.

Dis...

This flower makes me happy.

There are many things that make me happy... my husband, my children, my family, warm and sunny days spent tending pretty little flowers like these... just to name a few.

There are other things in this life... tedious things... that make me feel dis... Disappointed. Disgusted. Disenchanted. Disloyal.

I recently took Benett and Ellie to see the pediatrician. We love our pediatrician. She's great with the kids and I feel like they are getting the best care. She's a real mom and can relate to what Monte and I are going through. She's real and it makes her very good at what she does.

At our last visit, I took both children for a 'conjoined' appointment. I was trying to be accommodating. Bringing them both at one time seemed like the thing to do. I had a couple of questions about each... but nothing serious. They were being seen for routine well-child exams.

On this particular day our doctor was late. Late to the tune of an hour and 15 minutes. When she arrived, she apologized and introduced the intern who would be doing the initial exam. I was quietly livid. The kids were vocally livid.

After another 20 minutes, I told this very nice intern that we just had to leave. I had to get back to work for an important meeting. I was no longer able to be so quiet about my lividness. To this, she retrieved our beloved doctor. Who hurried. She hurried through the conjoined appointment. She examined each child quickly. And recommended a couple of additional tests, to help answer the questions that I had. She was very nice, but hurried.

Fast forward to Friday.

On Friday, I got the bill for the conjoined appointment that I scheduled to be accommodating to our medical facility. After all, it was just a well child appointment and my kids could make do with a shared appointment, right?

Wrong. My accommodation earned me an extra $135 charge, over and above the cost of the two well child exams. I didn't fail to notice that the charges weren't shared or conjoined, like the appointment... to be accommodating or otherwise. It certainly wasn't reflective of the time spent on each of my children. Perhaps they were charging me by the minute for my hour and 15 minute wait?

This is not a huge sum of money, but enough to make me feel dis. It turns out, when I asked those questions; it changed my appointment from a routine (hurried) well child exam to something else. The conjoined, accommodating appointment became a (hurried) diagnostic exam.

In the end, the (hurried) conjoined, accommodating appointment cost double what it would have had I been less thoughtful. Less accommodating. Less conjoined. It makes me feel very dis. Disgusted. Disgruntled. Disappointed.

It made me feel dis enough to call and ask for the charges to be reviewed. As it turns out the facility that over-charged me agrees that the over-charge was indeed accurate. Great.

I'll get over being so dis. But what I will not do, ever again, is sacrifice the time that my children each deserve to receive focused care. No more accommodating, conjoined appointments. I'll take each for their very own hour and 15 minute wait. 

Picnic

Every other year, my Dad's side of the family has a get together that's affectionately called the Family Picnic. Some years the gathering is quite large, with cousins coming from near and far to enjoy each other's company.

Gavin seemed to have a great time. There were several boys his age, which was a good thing. It took them about 13 minutes be become shirtless. I'm not sure what it is with little boys and shirts... they must feel too encumbered by them... too restricted by them. Stripping them off is the only option.

The youngest attendee was my lovely cousin's daughter Dorothy. She is such a doll. I don't think she fussed once... quite a contrast to my three hooligans. Benett had a chance to love on his little cousin... tickling her toes and planting kisses on her. He just loves babies.

Miss Ellie was her usual self. Quiet (for the most part). Reserved. Serious. She has also been working on adding a new trick to her game, and that is mischievous. She's a natural. I should say, it comes natural, AND she's had a couple of really dedicated teachers. I'll let you guess who those might be.

Tournament

Today was Monte's softball tournament. I completely forgot my camera. There were several moments that I would have captured.

Gavin was hardly seen. He was too busy playing with friends, catching tadpoles and getting dirty in general.

Benett was soaking it all in. He's never been to one of Daddy's games before... and after all of the begging and pleading it was finally his day. He was a really good boy today. (Although I can't say that he watched much of the game.)

Ellie was her usual quiet self, but by 3:30 she was ready to head home. I think most everyone there knew it was time for her to take a nap. She has a tendency to be on the obvious side when she's tired.

Repurposed

When we found out that our family was going to grow, we knew that our house would have to expand as well. A year and a half ago, we decided to put an addition on the house, which meant our deck would have to go.

For a year and a half, cedar decking and railings have been sitting in a pile in the yard.

For a year and a half I've been wondering what we were going to do with the sizable pile of perfectly good lumber.

Insert my Dad's great imagination. One day about a month ago he pointed to a part of the former deck and said, "That would make a nice little chicken coop." A couple of days after that stroke of genius, we began constructing this little hen house.

I love that it's made entirely of deck pieces. All but for the chicken wire and screws to fasten it all together, each piece is reclaimed. It's weathered. It's rustic. It's perfect.

We completed the project last weekend. Today, we added the residents. Three sweet little birds who have yet to be named.

These little girls (hopefully they're all girls) arrived with little fanfare, but much excitement by all three kids.

The boys just wanted to hold them. Gavin was a natural, gently handling the birds as if he'd been doing so his entire life.

Benett was a bit more... excited. This made the birds a bit more... nervous.

When he did finally get his hands on one, there were a couple of nervous moments. You see, he tried to hold the bird the same way he hugs his sister... tightly and around the neck. Not a good situation for a little chicken.

The other part of the equation that we're going to have to work on is the Retriever. Jackson was very excited to see the chickens, but something in his excessive slobbering betrayed a more sinister kind of excitement. He only dashed into the coop once, when I was too slow to close the gate behind me. He's a curious fellow... who wanted to play. Lesson learned.

Tonight I went back out to the coop to button everything up for the evening. I lingered a bit, because these little creatures are so much fun to watch. There is also something very soothing about their sounds. Benett was surprised and said that they were "tweety birds." But to me the sound is more reminiscent of a cat purring. 

It was also fun to watch them chase and gobble up the crickets. I'm pretty sure I could sit all day and watch that. 

Although the coop construction is complete, I'm sure we'll spend a good part of our day tomorrow putting the final touches on our new arrangements and making sure our little fowl are happy in their new home. But for tonight, everyone is ready to settle in for the evening. The boys are so thoughtful... they're watching Chicken Little in honor of our new additions. Very fitting.

Early

My day started a little earlier than usual today.

Lucky for me, my little Ellie bug decided to get up early today as well. I was glad to be able to give her a squeeze before I had to leave.

The boys were still fast asleep... which was good... those boys need their sleep.

They're like their mother, in that their ability to function on little sleep may be do-able but it's certainly not enjoyable... for anyone.

Content

We decided that tonight was a great night for a walk.

Everyone is full of energy as we set out. The boys race each other down the path. Monte chases after with Ellie perched on his back. I purposely lag behind... mostly to snap a few pictures... but I also know that it won't take long before Benett's short little legs start to slow down and grow tired.

Before long he asks to hold my hand. He grasps my finger tightly. It's almost as though he's drawing energy from me in order to carry on. No matter the reason for it, I love holding his hand. It doesn't happen as often as I'd like anymore.

By this time, Gavin is so far ahead we can barely see him. The dog stays close to him and I can hear Gavin chattering... I'm not sure if he was talking to himself or  to Jackson. Both are good company.

As we pass through a waterway that is filled with clover, we can't help but notice the bees.

Benett "Mom! Hey Mom!"
Me "What do you see Benett?"
Benett "Look there! It's a Bumble Beast!"

I can't help but laugh.

Benett doesn't think it is so funny. He doesn't want to get "stinged" so we don't pause for long.

We have a destination. Nobody wants to stop... so we keep walking and arrive at the farm.

Everyone is less energetic, Benett can't walk any longer... his short little lets are too tired...

Then he sees the machine shop, and he runs.

Gavin runs too.

Jackson chases a cat.

Ellie is still perched.

Monte and I are content.

Everyone is happy. (Except the cat.)

Tonight was a great night for a walk.

Smile

This picture is making me smile tonight.

That says a lot, because tonight I don't really feel like smiling. There's no one reason why... some days are just like that, I guess.

You know the days when things come more difficult than necessary. When things seem to require twice as much effort as the reserve holds. When kids don't want to cooperate. When kids seem incapable of listening to reason. When little things get under that tough layer of skin.

Yet, this picture has made me smile.

It's a picture of two souls who seem so similar ... an older version of one and a younger version of the other. Two souls destined to influence each other, in ways neither may yet know.

They've managed to make me smile when a smile seemed so unlikely... helping to wrap up a day in a more positive way... nudging me to reflect on this day and consider what I can do differently tomorrow... replenishing the reserves and helping me to prepare for another day.

Seven and Three Quarters

Although it's still summertime, August has a distinctly different feel.

In June, summer is new and exciting. School has let out. Swimming lessons are in full swing. We're getting used to our summer routine.

July means all kinds of summer rec. activities. It's picnics. It's parks and playgrounds and lots of time spent at the pool.

In August, things begin to wind down. We still have lots of fun planned... But we will try extra hard to eek as much out of each summer day as we can... we know that in the blink of an eye it will be Labor Day and then the first day of school.

Gavin is ready for school. I think he's getting excited. Excited for a new routine. Excited to be a year older. (He's seven and three quarters you know.) He excited to meet new friends and have some new adventures.

I look at this picture of him and can't help but think that he looks so old... he's growing up so fast. He may be excited for a new adventure... but me... well, I could do with a little bit more of what we've got right now.