Why

It seems as though when he was a young child, Gavin would ask "Why?" about 157 times each and every day. That curiosity and hunger for knowledge still exists in him today... but in a different way. Today, he still asks "why" but it's in an attempt to get to the bottom of how things work. He isn't satisfied with cursory responses and generalizations. He needs details.

Benett on the other hand is an entirely different child. I don't recall him going through a phase where he repeatedly asked why something was the way it was... As a matter of fact, he frequently tells Monte and me that we're wrong. I'm fairly certain he says "no it's not" as much as Gavin asked "Why?". I tell myself that's just him being a confidant boy... I can say that now, because he's in bed and not telling me what to do. When I'm in the moment with him, I'm not always so rational about his know-it-all-ness.

And Ellie... well I'm not sure which end of the spectrum she'll land in. At the moment, she seems to be very content with 'because.' Things just are the way they are in her world, mostly because there is very little time when she's on her own. She has two big brothers to rely upon... and she does... for better or worse.

All of the little people have taught Monte and me quite a lot about being parents. And yet, there are moments when I feel like I did when they first placed Gavin in my arms nine short years ago... completely and utterly unprepared... feeling like being is a parent is the most mystifying and frightening thing that could happen to a person... certainly there must be some kind of certification needed to have such an important job...

And yet, each day we wake to the bright shining faces of those three kids and the first thought that races through my mind isn't terror... worry about what kind of tough questions or situations I'll find myself in that day... it's a deep and all-encompassing gratitude for having the important job of being a parent to each of them; individually and collectively.

The terror... well that comes later in the day... especially when a headstrong four-year old decides that I'm wrong and that he in fact does not need a nap. At that moment, I'm quite sure that even the highest degree of parental certification would leave me unprepared for the battle about to ensue.