Monday, February 29, 2016


Today Monte had the opportunity to listen to the Dalai Lama speak. What a great experience to be in the presence of such a compassionate and spiritual being. The topic sounded interesting, as Monte described it, but I was more interested in how the Dalai Lama practiced his compassion and love for humankind. It was evident in the simplest gestures and his interpersonal interactions with the others in the chapel.

Being in the presence of someone who is capable of emanating such a deep love, in that kind of way, sounds very intimidating.

We are all on this journey, traveling a path which is exclusively our own... it's uncomfortable for me to think about this one precious life and be fully open and aware of God's purpose for me. What that means for how I spend each moment of each day, and what that means for my little people is a heavy thing.

The weight of that importance is stifling.

Parents always wonder if we're getting it right... maybe more accurately, we're convinced we are getting everything all wrong. I am anyway. I spend so much time second-guessing myself and wondering how I can be a better mom... or just better in general, for my little people.

In my head, I have things all neat and tidy... planned and considered, logical and age-appropriate, calm and deliberate, loving and unwavering. Outside of my head, real life doesn't happen that way. I'm often emotional and reactive, loud and inconsistent. Always loving... that love may not be readily at the surface, but it's always there. Always.

Indeed, we are all on this journey, but the path is not clear. For those, like the Dalai Lama, who know their divine purpose, I'm awe-struck. Maybe life is simpler for them... they KNOW their purpose. They live that purpose each and every day.

For me, well I don't fully understand mine... but I'm happy to have a partner to walk imperfectly next to... sometimes to follow... sometimes to lead... but always together. For the little people and for ourselves.

Together, we'll all live our lives imperfectly, trying to be fully open and aware. And if nothing else, simply thankful that we are able to spend this one sweet life together, whether or not we understand why. Maybe our purpose isn't to KNOW... but simply to love.

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