Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Spinning

At some point it became difficult to write about the little people and what's been going on in our lives. Not because there was anything wrong... but because it seemed as though there was nothing new.

At some point, things just seemed to be so much the same. There were none of the major milestones that happen in such rapid succession, with infants. Instead, we were just busy. Busy caring for the little people... keeping all of the plates spinning.

But all that time, there were changes. Subtle changes. Not measurable on a daily basis, but changes nonetheless. They're all bigger, that's inevitable. But there are other changes too. Things that didn't happen all at once, but were so much more gradual. The way Ellie has become so drawn to music. Her taste trends to pop, but anything will do as long as she can understand the words and dance to it.

This summer Gavin worked hard and dedicated a great deal of effort to baseball. It was fun to see him get emotionally attached to his team and the activity. He grew so much and that was as much fun to watch as his games. He's such a wonderful boy. I love him so very much. And for every bit that I love him, he frustrates me. He's just at that age... he's trying to understand the world around him and trying to come to his own conclusions. Defaulting to Mom and Dad's "way" isn't really top of mind with him right now.

That too was bound to happen and like Ellie's dancing, it didn't happen all at once, even though it feels like it sometimes. I try not to get frustrated or upset, but that's not always easy.

And Benett. My little mirror. He will be a kindergartener tomorrow. He's so ready for school. When I look into his eyes I can see that he wants to learn. His curiosity and wonder will take him to some wonderful places. I can only imagine how he will feel.

He doesn't seem frightened about this new adventure and I wasn't either. Until after his orientation, when I rushed him back to daycare and rushed myself back to work. When I finally sat at my desk it hit me.

All at once.

It wasn't incremental, it was like a ton of bricks. This boy who has always been at my knees will not always be hugging my leg. He's going to grow, little by little, no matter whether the plates are spinning or not. My job is to document as much of that as I can... even if it seems like there is nothing new.


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