Thursday, September 4, 2014


For the first time ever, Ellie left the house this morning, alone with her Daddy. She wasn't a part of a pair, she was just Ellie Bug, all by herself. She was excited to be the only one going to daycare. She was excited for a measure of autonomy.

She got herself dressed. She made sure to put her shoes on the correct feet. She selected her favorite baby to bring along. She smiled her biggest Ellie smile. She told me a silly story and gave me a hug and a kiss. She was happy for her new little solo adventure.

I wonder if she realized how much her relationship with Benett would change today...

Today was Benett's first day of Kindergarten. It's something he's been looking forward to for a very long time... he has been giving it a lot of thought... it's been worrying him a bit too.

Actually, growing up has been something that Benett worries about from time to time. I get that; I can relate. Those unknowns are scary.

One thing Benett has always known is that he has a huge fan in his sister. He's pretty fond of her too...

Up until today, Benett always had more in common with Ellie. They have this funny and special and electric connection... almost needing to be in proximity with one another.

To some degree that changed a little today. I knew it was coming... but for some reason, it still caught me off guard. I readied myself to see that little boy wearing a big backpack, walking down the long driveway, stepping on that big bus. Happy through it all... giddy with excitement.

What I wasn't prepared for was how that would change his relationship with is brother and his sister.

Being in the middle isn't easy. I am not a middle child; Monte isn't either. But I can see how it could be tough being in between the trailblazer and the baby. Not old enough to do the same things as his big brother does, and not as needy as the littlest.

Today, a bit of the 5 year age difference between Benett and Gavin was bridged. They seem to have this new secret, between just the two of them... an unspoken trust. A language that only school-age boys know how to speak.

A language that is foreign to a little sister.

She missed him today. Her friend at daycare told me as much when I came to pick Ellie up tonight. She was happy to be doing her thing, but she missed him all the same. I'm not sure it was that she didn't have her built-in playmate, that automatic, sure thing... It's that she was missing the person who got her. That person who knew what she was talking about, when nobody else seemed to understand. That person who spoke her language.

When she got in the car and Benett was there, sitting next to her, she seemed to feel relieved. Or so it seemed in my mind.

Tomorrow will be a new day. Ellie and Benett will go off, yet again, on their separate adventures, finding their own way, and with any luck they'll come back together to pick up right where they left off today.

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